countdown-to-your-extinction:

artsyneurotic:

My my Kaidan, something sure must sting… or…

Why is it always at 2 am that I start delving into weird things?

he told you to bite the pillow. sheesh, kaidan.

commanderballsshepard:

i’m sorry

padzi:

chasingastarlight:

vakarrus:

maaseffect:

sanityscraps:

xannerz:

sarenarterius:

taztothesky:

allofmyfeels:

An old (very old, it appears) McDonald’s “chicken selects” radio ad.  I cannot listen to it without laughing because…Garrus.  Dear me. 

Ba da ba ba ba, baby

Garrus. Doing a McDonald’s commercial. WHAT.

DYING.

flasdkjfaksdjfasdf

I have never felt so sexually attracted to McDonald’s food in my LIFE.

BUT GARRUS, MCD’S ISN’T AVAILABLE IN DEXTRO.

consider yourself lucky

“BREAST MEAT” HE CRIED

OH MY GOD

n-no garrus don’t eat at mcdonalds! you’ll never survive!

(or you’ll be stuck craving mcdonalds forever like i am right now, fuck, i was not hungry before i listened to this)

Garrus, why are you talking about “breast meat”? Ha ha, precious.

ok ok i’m GOING

several days ago someone on vg said they’d flip their shit if they gave some random multiplayer character dark channel

and lo and behold the new n7 fury adept has dark channel

(Source: sinsario)

owlmatic:

spicyshimmy:

From the back cover of FIFTY SHADES OF KAYDEN, an erotic novel by C. VERNER

My omni-tool flashes. It has to be—a call from Kayden. I bite my lip. You can do this, Sheploo, I think.

‘Hello?’

‘Hello, Mr. Sheploo. A pleasure to hear your voice, as ever. You sound well.’

Holy hanar! Even his voice enkindles me…down there. I think about his affluent, sensual pompadour and his low voice, like nothing I’ve ever heard before. It’s richer than a vorcha’s—and even sexier than a turian’s.

My inner prothean threatens me he’ll go extinct if I don’t do something less primitive, while my synthetic subconscious is shouting at me to make a choice and say something to him already!

‘How have you been?’ I ask, biting my bottom lip. ‘We haven’t talked in a while.’

‘Indeed we have not, Sheploo.’

I’ve missed you, I think. But my synthetic subconscious is screaming at me to remember how he went too far the last time we were together. Maybe it was my fault for forgetting horizon was the safe word, but all I can think about is his deep, sexy whisper at the back of my neck, telling me This hurts you.  

Oh, geez. My inner prothean rolls all four eyes at me. Get it together, Sheploo. Just say something interesting!

‘I should go,’ I blurt out. Holy hanar, this is harder than I thought it would be! And, from just talking to Kayden, so am I…

I am the sort of person who takes pleasure in destroying works of beauty with my horrible voice.

Holy Hanar, I am so sorry.

countdown-to-your-extinction:

majorkaidanalenko:

benezias:

chief-williams:

mattalliccolouredphallusinmybutt:

woooOAOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOH

I REMEMBER THIS

[screaming]

i can’t breathe.

(Source: metalliccolouredphallus)

halyen:

I have no words for Kaidan’s face in the corner.

this is what I’m talking about he does that ALL THE TIME he’s like this guy asdfgdj. 

the best part for me when he pulled off that face was when shepard was forcefully dragging samara’s daughter away from a fucking bomb and he was there going like “do some prety blue womin gona die? oh no”

(Source: majorbioticbutt)